Star Trekkin' Across the Galaxy

All ye Trekkies, rejoice!

For those of you who have been hiding under a rock, fearful that J. J. Abrams would take your beloved franchise and murder it, resurrect it, murder it again, stuff it with sawdust, prop it up on a pole and parade it around in a ridiculous farce, you should breathe a collective sigh of relief. Take it from a girl who knows most of TNG and DS9 by heart—the new Trek is pretty damn awesome. Without giving too much away, here is a summation of why you should go see it—multiple times.




Fear thee not that time travel is a major plot point! I’m very, very picky about my time travel. My standard are super-high when it comes to crossed realities and timestreams. Our dearly departed Heroes (Yes, I am aware that there is going to be a fourth season) started with brilliant time-travel, but it soon lost its luster. After all, one of the big time-travel no-nos is using it ALL the time. In fact, Disney’s Gargoyles was the only show featuring time travel that I felt did it consistently right. Of course, they ascribed to the theory that “If you travel in time, you were ALWAYS supposed to travel in time. You can’t actually change anything” which Star Trek does not. But Trek features a strict one-time event that has forever mussed up what the world might have been—a rather respectable string-theory alternative involving parallel dimensions etc. etc.

For those of you who can quote the series—the series is quoted! Yes, that’s right. Every character at least once spouts one of their classic lines, though arguably it’s the lines that aren’t classic that will become the new classics. Er. Did you follow that there? Oh, and a red shirt does die. Just the one, though.

The acting is pretty damn good. Sure, they aren’t the original actors and in most cases don’t try to be them—but I think that’s what makes the movie special. It’s supposed to be a re-imagining of the series. I would also totally watch a new “Original” trek series with this crew featured. It would be hilarious and awesome. If you have any trepidations about the casting, throw them aside. Once you’re in the theater it ceases to matter.

The best graphics in Star Trek ever? Hell yes. Well done and worth it special effects.

The potential—and desire—to see more. The one thing that “bothered” me about the movie was “Hey! Where are the Klingons? The Trill? The Bajorans? The Cardassians? The Ferengi? In fact, where are any of the alien races I know and love that don’t have pointy ears? And what the hell is that thing Scotty has for a friend/pet?” There’s so much more they can show and expand on. It has me waiting for a sequel—if they do the damn thing right.

A blend of action and humor that will not be soon forgotten. Star Trek was cheesy. Let’s admit it—even the most serious of the series had their moments of ridiculousness. That’s in the movie. Also is more serious emotional pain. Spock, at one point, says “Live Long and Prosper” in a way that should be understood as “Fuck you; please, go stick a phaser up your ass.” There were points where I laughed so hard I nearly peed. Other times, I was on the edge of my seat, waiting to see how Kirk would manage to pull himself up fro yet ANOTHER ledge (he spends a lot of time getting his ass kicked. . .).

Overall, I had a damn good time at the movie. It was also nice to see that the Rodenberrys got their just desserts with a little “In loving memory of” at the end of the credits. Mrs. Roddenberry did do all the lines for the computer in the movie too—she passed away afterwards. Would I pay the $11 to see it again? Yes. That’s a big deal for me. I’m very picky about what movies I spend that $11 on in the first place, and I hardly ever go to see a movie a second time—I’ll wait for it on DvD.

So, if you’re like me and still debating whether or not Wolverine would be worth it—go see Trek instead. That’s the movie which will really kick off the summer movie season as this year’s Iron Man.